Nonviolent Communication - San Francisco Lecture Workshop - Marshall Rosenberg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NH1MKAdxUpQ

The Basics of Nonviolent Communication^SM with Marshall B. Rosenberg, Phd

• We are trained to discuss things as being either right or wrong.
• Nonviolent communication is about giving freely instead of forcing or coercing others into doing something. How do we encourage people to give?
• How do we communicate in a way that connects us rather than pushes us apart?
• You cannot force anyone to do anything, you always have the choice of what to do.
• Observations:
  • In nonviolent communication, you should describe the observation -- what specifically did they do -- instead of the judgement, evaluation, or diagnosis. Ask yourself, is it an observable behavior or is it an evaluation? Describe what happened, not how you judge it or how you feel about it.
  • Don't evaluate others in a way that implies wrongness. It decreases the likelihood that you will get what you want and it increases the likelihood of violence. Talk about whether or not they are meeting needs.
• Feelings
  • You can describe how what you've observed makes you feel. But again, describe how you feel without implying judgement on the other person or interpreting how they are acting. Don't blame the other person for how you feel.
  • Don't say "I feel this way because you...". Don't attribute responsibility.
• Needs
  • Needs do not specify a specific way of getting those needs met.
  • Encourage a person's desire to give, instead of making them work for a reward or to avoid punishment.
  • Express the unmet need without referencing the other person.
• Requests
  • Don't mix up your need and your request.
  • Be specific about what your request is. Make clear requests.
  • Say what you want, not what you don't want.
  • Requests need to include a concrete, doable action. "I would like you to..."
  • The other person should understand that it is a request, not a demand. Think about how you will treat the other person if they don't do it -- if you try to punish, then it's a demand. Try to find a way to get everyone's needs met.
• Say what you are feeling and needing, make a clear request (not a demand), and don't imply wrongness. This increases the likelihood that other people will enjoy giving to you.

Stopped about halfway through the workshop video.