my life lately

So I have recruiters contacting me over and over again about a role opening at a particular company, but I've never even gotten a phone screen with this company. I get so many recruiters contacting me about it that it has turned into a comedy of errors:

recruiter 1: Wow, you have a lot of Haskell and Purescript experience on your resume, that would be a really great fit for this company called Acme!
me: Yeah, let's talk
recruiter 1: Okay, I'll refer you.

later:
> recruiter 2: So I'm looking for someone with Haskell and Purescript experience and I was really impressed by your resume.
> me: Yeah, I'm interested, who is it for?
> recruiter 2: It's for Acme Corporation, I'll let them know, let's keep in touch!

later:
> recruiter 3: Hey, so I'm looking for someone with Haskell and Purescript experience and I think with your history that you'd be a great fit for this role at Acme Corporation. Are you interested?
> me: Uh... yeah.
> recruiter 3: Nice! Alright, I'll let the company know and I'll get back to you.

later:
> recruiter 2: So I'm looking for someone with Haskell and Purescript experience and I was really impressed by your resume.
> me: You already contacted me about this.
> recruiter 2: Oh, my bad, sorry.

later:
> recruiter 4: I'm really impressed by your deep experience with Haskell and Purescript and I think you'd be an incredible fit for Acme Corporation.
> me: ...

I can't help but imagine:
> Acme Corporation: Where could we possibly find a Haskell and Purescript developer? We can't find any!
> Me: I'm a Haskell and Purescript developer with loads of experience! Let's talk!
> Acme Corporation: Oh where oh where could we possibly find such a person?
> Me: I'm right here! Let's talk!!!
> Acme Corporation: We'll never know.